With apologies to Leonard Bernstein etc. and sung to the tune of "Maria" from West Side Story --
Diarrhea
I met you last week, Diarrhea
And suddenly my life may never be the same to me
Diarrhea!
Say it soft and it's almost like pissing
Say it loud and you'll hear the spitzing
Diarrhea,
I soon hope to stop saying
Diarrhea!
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